The Ultimate Soviet Poker Face

It is believed that the Soviets are not big on smiling. And even though we at Bears&Vodka aim at destroying most of the stereotypes by showing you the Russian reality, this time we got browbeat… in a very Soviet way.

Yes, David. Minsk isn't Russia. But it just as scary
Yes, David, Minsk isn’t Russia. Hold on there tight, Phoebe

Meet Vitaly Zelkovsky, dweller of Minsk, Belarus. Even though Minsk is in the neighboring country of Belarus, he still grew up in Soviet Union, so the differences in people are virtually inexistent. He could have easily been from Chelyabinsk.

In any other region of the world, his stone-dead pokerface would seem too surreal and the photos would most likely be photoshopped. But knowing the imprint that post-Soviet reality leaves on people’s faces, we choose to believe that photos are genuine. At least his Vkontakte (Russian Facebook) page seems real. See for yourselves.

In Saint Petersburg, near the Church of the Savior on Blood (Spas Na Krovi). Near the Big Ben. In Saint Petersburg, in a museum. In Paris, at La Defence district. Wet and topless, in Recco, Italy. In Saint Petersburg, near the Aurora cruiser. In Brussels. In Kiev. In Barcelona, near Sagrada Familia. In Paris, near the Eiffel Tower. Near the London Tower. In Eindhoven. In Milan. In Strasbourg. In Barcelona, near Torre Agbar. In Budapest. Near the London Eye.Even at work, his face doesn’t seem to express any emotions.Joyful occasions, like weddings, seem to have no effect on him whatsoever.
By Max Bears

Not much is known about Max Bears, except for his obsession with the Russian language and Apple products. Sometimes seen on a bicycle around downtown Moscow, he is indistinguishable from the wild bears that roam the streets of Russia's capital.